Proud and sad at the same time

Look at this post on Annemarie’s Haakblog

My design was chosen ^_^ I’m so super proud of this =D It means the world to me! I always set the bar very high for myself. And with ‘very’ I really mean ‘very’. Where you may see the wonderful things in my design, I see the flaws. I need everything to be perfect.
A little example: say you have been crocheting for …. let’s say 40 years and you make something that is nearly impossible to make. I expect myself to do it in the exact same way. Just as perfect! Which is rediculous, because I haven’t got nearly as much experience, but I do. I don’t know why, I just do. The weird thing is, I KNOW it’s not realistic and impossible and maybe I will do a pretty good job but I will still feel that I have failed. I can’t help it. I don’t know how to be be happy with what I do and I certainly don’t know where it’s coming from. My parents have always encouraged me and complemented me on things. So yeah that’s something I need to work on.

So back to the proud moment bit. This was such a good motivation for me to continue the things I’m doing but suddenly… BAM… my wrist hurt, my elbow hurts and to top it off.. my shoulder hurts. All on the right side –> the side I’m using to crochet. Yes, I have RSI (repetitive strain injury). I crochet really, really tight and I apply a lot of pressure on my hook. That’s probably why my crochet hook was like: Yeah, I don’t like this… Crack….
(see this picture on my instagram)

It started a few days ago and ever since I woke up this morning (actually since last night because I barely slept because of the pain), the pain is killing me. When I noticed the pain in my wrist, I decided to crochet a little bit less often and for a shorter period of time. I’m currently working on Peppermint the Pegasus and really wanted to finish her by today so I could make a post about her. Unfortunately, I have been working on 1 mane for the past three days and I only have half of that mane done. After this one, I need to make 2 more. I can’t do anything I like: I can’t paint, draw, crochet, cross stitch, cook (stirring hurts, cutting stuff hurts…). I even have trouble holding my book. It makes me very unhappy. At the moment, I am in a lot of pain but I want to finish my blog post. I relax a lot but also move it a bit so it doesn’t become stiff. In addition, I’m also cooling my wrist (which hurts the most) every now and then with a cool pack from the fridge. I just don’t know what else to do. Everything I do hurts and for pretty much the first time in my life, I’m bored. Any tips for me?

With love,

Kitty

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